In addition to listening more than talking, you can make the connection feel more intimate by sharing something a little bit personal. This doesn’t have to be your deepest secret, but something that gives the other person insight into who you are.
Consider joining groups centered around your interests, such as a book club or sports team. These are ideal places to meet people with similar interests and start a conversation.
1. Start small
Making friends as an adult can take time. It may seem like you put yourself out there and nothing happens, but that is okay. The right friendships will work out.
You may find that you have more in common with people than you think. For example, if someone you talk to on the internet loves Rage Against the Machine, you might want to ask them to see a concert together.
Another easy way to meet new people is by joining a social circle. Look for groups that share your interests, such as a hobby, work or neighborhood. If you have a coworker who has a large group of friends, ask them to introduce you. Then, invite other friends to join you. You can also throw a party where everyone is asked to bring two people.
2. Ask for an introduction
If you feel comfortable, ask your friend or acquaintance to introduce you to someone they think you might get along with. This will take the pressure off you and give you a chance to see if your instincts are right in a safe and familiar environment.
When meeting new people, listen more than you talk. Whether it’s a coworker or a stranger you met on a social media app, focus on learning about their experiences and opinions, rather than trying to impress them with your own. Nodding, maintaining eye contact, and asking questions will make them feel like you are listening and interested in them. This will increase the chances of them wanting to build a friendship with you.
3. Listen more than you talk
It is important to listen more than you talk when trying to make new friends. It shows that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say, and it makes them feel like they can trust you.
You can practice listening by asking questions, and also by simply being present in the moment. You can also watch and learn from gregarious people, and practice looking them in the eye.
If you want to meet people who share your interests, you can try joining clubs or social groups. This is a great way to meet people, and you can find common ground by talking about a shared passion, such as music or art. This can lead to friendships that last. Friendships are not always easy, but they can be worth it!
4. Don’t be afraid to ask questions
A big part of friendship is sharing things about yourself. People will want to hang out with you if they feel like you’re interested in them and their thoughts, experiences, and feelings.
Pointing out something you have in common, such as a shared love of camping, sushi, or rap music, can also be an easy way to start a conversation. But don’t overdo it; don’t share more than one thing about yourself or you might seem self-centered.
If you feel comfortable enough, consider asking a casual acquaintance out for a coffee date or to go to a movie. Group outings are fun, but a lot of the depth that builds friendship chemistry happens when it’s just you and them. Be sure to invite them back for more time.
5. Be yourself
Being yourself is the best way to make friends. You don’t need to be the life of the party or outgoing, but you should show that you are genuine and interested in others. It also helps to share a little bit about yourself, like what you enjoy doing or your favorite music.
Getting to know someone takes time, so don’t rush it or pressure them to be your friend. If you don’t get along, it’s okay to part ways – but always exchange contact information before doing so.
Keep in mind that making friends as an adult can be messy and awesome and frustrating, but the right people will eventually emerge. If you are having difficulty, consider talking to a counselor.